BREAKING: Alex Jones Converts to Islam

In a stunning reveal, InfoWars founder and well-known conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has told the world that he’s formally converted to Islam. “It’s been a really long time coming,” the YouTube host said, now sporting a scruffy beard and mustache as part of his practice of his new faith. “The people in my life have been worried about me for years. And I haven’t been happy, either.”

How did Jones come to Islam after years of conjuring up anti-Muslim conspiracy theories? “Well it’s funny,” he said calmly, “I was doing all this reading because I really did think there was some sort of civilizational war happening. What I found was that over time, the words of the Koran really started to sink in. I was like, ‘Whoa, this really is a religion of peace.’ It was so unexpected, but eventually it was nothing I could deny to myself anymore. I reached out to some Muslim leaders I’d criticized in the past, and things went from there.”

How did those leaders take his outreach? “Oh, at first I think they were being set up for another round of my ugly antics and then death threats from the misguided souls who followed me then, but they’re faith leaders, you know? They took a chance on me even thought I didn’t deserve it at all, and I’m so grateful to them.”

What’s next for Jones? “I really don’t know. I’m in this transitional phase, learning as much as I can, trying to right some of my past wrongs, and maybe do a better job of bringing light – like Islam says – into the world. It’s scary, but it’s really exciting for me as a person.”

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